One month before the assault, I invited him to my apartment. We talked for hours in the hallway. He told me all he wanted to do was get my pregnant. He told me stuff about his life, his son, his temper, his ex’s. He disclosed to me. He also tried to kiss me, and I steadily keep pushing him away. Then I told him: “I am a cutter. I do not like intimacy.” He joked and said: “We’re being intimate right now.” (I was sitting on his lap.) I laughed.
He broke down a wall by telling me everything I wanted to hear. He wanted to be to be my protector. My one. Our Native Indian background connected. I wanted him to be my chief. But that night when he kissed my forehead, and gave me an Eskimo kiss, little did I know, those kisses would be lined with a poison that would change my life forever.
Two days later, my forehead starts breaking out. The bumps were worse in the sun. The next two days, I found a lump inside my lip. How did I get a lump inside my lip when we kissed closed mouthed? Worried, I made a doctor’s appointment, had blood work done, and low and behold: HSV-1 Antibodies were present in my blood work.
He never mentioned he had a STD. Was it my fault for not asking him? Was it my fault since I did not have experience with dating guys? What was I going to do? How was I going to tell my parents?
(It had been six years since I had a boyfriend. Both of us were virgins. Both of us were clean.)